"Don't lose your femininity!" - "Boys will be Boys"

We hear these statements all the time, some of us have grown up being controlled by it, especially when we were 'tomboys'. And there are some guys out there who are told that they are too feminine and not "manly".

That's because society expects that women (because of what their bodies are capable of) should nurture qualities like gentleness, love, and compassion. And men do not and should not show these traits and qualities. Now, from what we know about violence and harassment of women, and how men find it hard to express all their emotions openly, it would do everyone a world of good if the roles were balanced out.

The idea should not strike fear in your heart! Its not about men becoming mothers or women becoming warriors. Its about balancing things out. With women having more options and opportunities to work and live as they want to, the way we bring up girls - and boys- needs to change too. Its about challenging the stereotypes, right from the kinds of toys you give kids. If you give girls tea sets and not Lego or trucks, there is a specific message you're sending out. That girls stay at home and cook. And then parents plan for weddings from when a girl starts her period! How do you expect women to learn to bring authority and confidence into herself when she isn't give the space to take care of herself, to be independent, and that her only role is as a wife and mother? This is not femininity, its imbalance.

How do we expect men to stop being aggressive if we don't teach them to be more sensitive and gentle? GI Joes and Action Men toys for young boys gives them a message too…that action, war, aggression is what boys' need to develop. This is not masculinity. Its imbalance.

Apart from toys, there are books, movies, music, relationships, culture, and religion that try to keep men and women away from each other -psychologically and emotionally. Sometimes we are miles away from what the other gender is saying. It's a package deal, so if you want to change the way you live and change the way you are treated, you have to change the way you see yourself.